so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
