For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
