I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
