Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
