Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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