Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
