Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
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it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
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It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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