after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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