I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Bring me that man meat
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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