Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
