Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
