Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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