When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
