On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I touched a dick in church today
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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