drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
