why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
