I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
