I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
