My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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