i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
