Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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