Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
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not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
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How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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