How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
