is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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