Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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