I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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