i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize