I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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