What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
