Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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