He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
