If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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