I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
