i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
