I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
