He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
