i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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