these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
