I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
