I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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