if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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