Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
