hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
