just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
