yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
