Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
