There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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