i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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