just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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