Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize