TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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