She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
