Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
