elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
