i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
