I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
