I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
