He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
