Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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