Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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