You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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