craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
