Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
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Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
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my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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