you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
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Do I have a choice?
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We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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